The chapel is stone with wooden pews and high stained glass windows. Thick, warm carpets welcome you. The candles on the columns and the altar flicker in memory of those who have given their lives in the cause of righteousness and in support of those who struggle for justice and healing in the face of adversity.

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Recovering from Abuse and Sexual Assault

One in ten men will face a sexual assault in their lifetimes, and one in three women will.

Contrary to what you may hear, rape is never the fault of the survivor. No one ever acts or dresses in a way that gives a friend, or a stranger, carte blanche to commit a crime. Any non-consentual sex is rape; it's as much a crime if the rapist slips pills into their target's drink as it is if the rapist beats them senseless. Those who do survive rape must deal with the psychological trauma and with a society that often blames the victim.

Below are links to various sites that describe the causes of rape and sexual abuse, along with the effects and some treatments. Also look for the pages that detail how to be there for someone who has survived a rape.

After Effects of Childhood Abuse The challenges faced by survivors. Feeling hurt is natural, and it's no shame to seek help.

Date and Acquaintance Rape talks about safe behavior and encourages women and men to look honestly at themselves.

Healing the Wounds There is an end. Things you can do to speed your recovery from abuse.

Myths and Realities About Rape In cases of sexual assault it is sometimes required that friends, relatives, loved ones, and acquaintances take a hard look at themselves and defeat their own prejudices.

Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network RAINN is a nonprofit charity. Their 800-number connects to local rape crisis and counseling centers. It's 1-800-656-HOPE.

Remembering Sexual Abuse Although recovered memories can be imagined (especially if the counselor uses leading language) and should be treated with exreme care, people can indeed suppress memories of being abused. A very young person may not have had the vocabulary to address what happened to them; other people may be unable to deal with the crime when it happened, and so the memories may not return until later. In some cases, a survivor will not admit to themselves that a crime was committed; in others, survivors develop an unconscious fear of ever being by themselves or alone with someone of the same gender as the rapist.

Stop Prisoner Rape Details rape trauma syndrome in men, and addresses rapes in prison and the misconception that male rape necessarily involves homosexuality. Contrary to the claims of some, rape and sexual abuse are not only women's issues. Men are also raped and abused; like women, men react with shame and need to be heard and accepted.

Parents and Loved Ones of Rape Survivors If you know a child who has been abused, don't judge. Take them seriously. Believe them and love them. Assure them that they did the right thing by telling you. Assure them that they are not to blame. Assure them that you will act to stop the abuse, and then do so.

Victim blaming still happens today, even in the United States, in communities that should know better. This 2013 article tells the story of a girl who was kicked out of high school for reporting a rape.

This 2016 letter was written by a young woman raped by a star athlete. (The woman was raped when she was unconscious -- but still had to endure victim-blaming questions from the police such as how much she'd had to drink, what she'd eaten, and if she'd had a history with alcohol. It's no wonder so few rape survivors press charges.)

In 1997, 15-year-old Tina Anderson was raped by her boss, a church deacon. In desperation, she went to their pastor. Instead of calling the police, the pastor forced her to stand up in front of the entire congregation -- in other words, everyone she knew, and the only community she had ever known -- and confess that she had committed adultery with a married man.

A woman from Colorado wrote this powerful statement about what it's like to survive a rape.

I let my husband rape me, and here's why is a powerful statement from a survivor of domestic violence.

The Weinstein Verdict Shows Why Rape Convictions Are So Rare Movie producer and serial rapist Harvey Weinstein assaulted 90 women -- and was convicted of raping two. The Atlantic explains how Weinstein got away with it for years -- and why 80% of rapists are never arrested.

Other Issues

Amnesty International The premier human rights association in the world. They organize letter-writing campaigns urging nations and organizations to respect human dignity and refrain from the abominable use of torture.

Love Is Not Abuse Domestic violence is never acceptable, and those who use it are abusers, not lovers. TheHotline.Org is the national domestic violence hotline.

Types of Emotional Abuse All human beings - men, women, and children - deserve to live their lives with dignity. No one deserves to be humiliated, terrorized, demeaned, or belitted by an authority figure or one that they trust. Other links include: Symptoms of Emotional Abuse | Types of Abuse | Emotional Abuse | The Many Faces of Emotional Abuse | Domestic Violence and Abuse | 30 Signs of Emotional Abuse

Verbal Abuse is a kind of emotional abuse where a loved one or an authority figure uses hostile or rude language to control their target. It is just as evil as other abuse forms. See also: Probe Ministries' page on Verbal Abuse.

What To Do If You're Being Stalked contains healthy advice. Contrary to popular belief, stalking is a crime. It is not harmless, and the stalked person is not simply overreacting, exaggerating, or paranoid. Stalking should always be taken seriously; advice like "Just ignore it" and "Get over it" does not help someone who is followed around at all hours of the day or night by an individual shouting obscenities or threatening to harm them or a loved one. Haltabuse.org offers help to those being harassed online.

Suicide Hotlines Contrary to popular belief, if someone has suicidal thoughts it doesn't mean they're crazy. Suicide is caused by despair -- a person's belief that they are going to be miserable for the rest of their lives and there's nothing they can do about it. Sometimes mental illness or the wrong medication can make someone suicidal, but just as often the person is trapped in an abusive situation with no way out. Suicide is not the answer. There are people to talk to who are trained to help.

Human Rights Watch Torture is a terrible crime that compromises the humanity of the perpitrator as much as it does the victim. If torture is not wrong, nothing is wrong.

Getting Help to Runaways: StandUpForKids.Org | National Runaway Switchboard If you're a minor who's being bullied or abused by an adult, ask someone for help -- and keep asking people until you get it. If someone's abusing their authority, there's no shame in fighting back.

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